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By Merit Gest
In sports the most successful athletes have coaches and
mentors. Coaches know how and when to motivate, train, inspire
and bring out the best in others. Mentors have been there and
done that. While both are important, let’s focus our attention
on mentors because they are widely available and most often
free of charge and anxious to be of service.
Everybody feels good when someone asks them for advice. Older
&
wiser people have a wealth of information to share. Business
leaders are anxious to share the lessons they’ve learned with
people on their way to the top. Sure you can read a book about
a person’s success story, but imagine having dinner every
month
or so with someone able and willing to share their expertise
and
wisdom. How could a business improve with that practice in
place? How could your marriage?
Those who have made it through tough times with a strong
successful marriage have something to say about how it can be
accomplished. Seek these couples out in your families,
neighborhoods, places of worship & work. Examples of
unsuccessful partnerships are all over daytime TV. For
examples
of healthy, fulfilling and long lasting relationships, take a
look at the people in your real life.
When you meet people who’ve been married to each other many
years how they have made it work for so long. Not only is the
question a great conversation starter, but you’ll learn
something that you may be able to quickly incorporate into
your
own relationship that could make a difference and you will
make
them feel good about themselves at the same time!
At a dinner party thrown by my husband’s business partner, we
found ourselves at a table with four couples; all were our
parent’s age. Conversation was somewhat ordinary until I asked
the question, “What’s your secret to being married more than
25
years?” We talked all night. They each went around the table
with their special blend of advice for us “young folks”. Then
they went around again with more marriage tips! We all left
the
party feeling great. They got to be experts on the topic of
marriage. They got to feel acknowledged for their successful
relationship. They got to appreciate each other all over again
by sharing their personal stories. They got to pass along
their
advice to interested people. They got to feel good by having
something to say about an important topic. Everyone was
engaged
in the conversation. We got to learn from their wisdom and
experience.
The evening was a win-win for everyone. You are welcome to go
through the experience of marriage on your own, without the
wisdom of those who have done it well, but just as I wouldn’t
advise a young person to make a career choice without talking
to someone in the field, I don’t recommend trying to create a
marriage without advise from those who are “in the field”.
Successful people who have something to share on the topic of
business or marriage will want to save you from the hassle and
heartache of learning what they had to learn the hard way. You
can do it yourself or take their advice and perhaps save your
marriage.
One warning I would be remiss if I didn’t mention here… choose
your mentors carefully. Any advisor, paid or volunteer, is
only
valuable to you if their expertise has integrity. By that I
mean
that I wouldn’t want a nutritionist who was 100 pounds
overweight- that would lack integrity. If, at any point, you
believe your mentor relationship is not supporting your goal
of
a happy, life-long marriage, end your mentor partnership and
shop for a new one.
Creating mentors may mean seeking out specific couples and
asking them formally to be your “marriage mentors”. You may
meet regularly as a couple for a meal with your marriage
mentors, or you may meet or talk occasionally as a need
arises.
There are no rules to mentor relationships, though the best
plan
is to structure time to connect with marriage mentors to keep
that relationship strong.
About The Author: Merit Gest, founder of “Marriage Means
Business” married successful business strategies with personal
relationships to create a unique approach to making
relationships work. As a member of National Speakers
Association, Merit has been invited to speak all across
America. She has trained hundreds of salespeople to
collectively increase sales by millions of dollars across a
wide variety of industries, though her most treasured “sale”
was on her wedding day. Not a licensed therapist, people
relate
to Merit because she’s a real woman making her marriage work
every day. Merit can be reached at 877-663-2672 or
Merit@MarriageMeansBusiness.com. For more information about
Merit or Marriage Means Business please visit
www.MarriageMeansBuisness.com
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