|
By Angela S Davis
There’s a big step from engaged to married. It’s not just
exchanging rings and wedding vows, it’s exchanging one
lifestyle for another. Even as an engaged person you had a
certain independence that meant you had some space of your
own.
There was a part of your day or night that you were your own
person. In a marriage this more or less disappears completely.
No matter how much freedom you have in your marriage, how
flexible the boundaries – you still have to remember that
there
is now someone else that you must keep 100% in your life-loop!
If you’re going to be late from work, you need to make sure
your husband/wife knows. If you aren’t going to be home for
supper, they need to know. If you aren’t going to be able to
get the dry cleaning on the way home, and it’s needed for the
next day, they need to know so they can go get it! This is a
major life change. At first it feels as if you are back
answering to your parents! You may even rebel against the
idea.
But think about it for a moment. Your husband/wife always
walks
through the door at 6.52pm – give or take 4 minutes. You have
supper waiting on the table. At 7.20pm supper is cold, and
they
still haven’t arrived. 8.25pm when they walk through the door,
you’re halfway through dialing the number for the local
hospital because you’re sure something’s happened to them.
They
smile and apologize for being late but they got caught up in a
last minute meeting. No thought to the anguish you’ve been
through picturing them hurt or worse! You don’t want to be the
one feeling this way, and so make sure you don’t do the same
kind of thing to your beloved! Letting your partner know your
schedule is a sign of consideration. Of acknowledging that
this
other person cares about you and will worry if you are not
where
you’ve said you’ll be at the time you said you’ll be there.
Gone too are the days when you could say “Sure, I’ll come for
pizza tonight!” to work colleagues without even thinking about
it. First of all you need to call your partner and tell them
that this is what you’re planning, and making sure that
they’re
ok with it. Yes, I know, too bad if they aren’t, but they may
have made other plans for the evening that you don’t know
about
and so it is worth checking first!
Consideration for your new husband or wife is the first and
most important aspect of your marriage during the early days
because it’s the thing that’s most difficult to adjust too. Is
your music too loud? Does your partner want to watch a
different channel? Do you take all the blankets in bed? Do you
snore? You don’t check these things because you benefit, nor
as
a partner would you usually complain about them, but you do
them
because you want your marriage to be a partnership with two
equal partners. If you argue about something, find common
middle ground. There should be no power struggle if both
parties respect each other enough to accept that both people
are entitled to hold differing viewpoints. Don’t back down
from
confrontation, don’t press forward your advantage, be
considerate towards each other and negotiate a situation you
can both agree to.
In the early weeks and months of marriage, you’ll find many
things new and sometimes not exactly the way you thought
they’d
be, but if both parties add consideration to their menu of
love,
trust and respect, then married life will soon settle down and
you’ll become accustomed to doing things without resentment or
obligation. You’ll do them because you want too.
About The Author: Looking for information about Dating? Go to:
Dating PR - Everything About Dating On The Net is published by
Angela Davis - The Complete A to Z Of Dating Resources Check
out more Dating articles at: www.datingpr.com/
|