By Tom Attea
President Bush made a secret trip to Iraq to meet with Iraqi
Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki to assure him that the U. S.
will continue to support efforts to stabilize and rebuild
Mr. Maliki thanked him and assured him that he would do
everything to increase President Bush’s approval ratings.
further discussions, the two leaders agreed that the best way
accomplish both goals may be to exchange jobs.
President Bush stated, “I’m very involved in the U. S.
involvement in Iraq, but I understand not all Americans
we can win here. Since I know we can win, I may decide that
best way to achieve the goal is to take Prime Minister
al-Maliki’s job. If I go ahead with the switch, I expect to be
addressed as Iraqi Prime Minster George Bush.”
The Iraqi Prime Minister added, “And then you can address me
American President Nouri al-Maliki. I know this proposed job
exchange will come as a big surprise to many Americans, but
President Bush and I have discussed how this might be a way to
give America a President with higher approval ratings. I know
the language will be a bit of a handicap for both of us, but
I’ve been listening to Mr. Bush, and I think my mistakes in
English are not that much more bad than the ones he makes.”
They went on to chide each other, with Mr. Bush saying, “If we
do make the switch, I guess I’ll be addressing the Iraqi
Parliament, and I suspect they’ll be a lot friendlier than
Mr. Maliki responded, “Then I would board your helicopter to
take me Baghdad International Airport, so I can fly to
Washington and get started in my new job as President of the
“Do I have to become a Muslim?” Bush asked Miliki. “I’m not
sure my constituency back in the US would approve.”
“Maybe it will go better for me as the President if I become a
Protestant,” Maliki replied. “But I’m not sure how that would
go over with my constituency, either.”
While many Americans were uncertain about the proposed switch,
they were willing to adopt a wait and see attitude.
As one American commented, “Look, if the former Iraqi Prime
Minister does a good job as the President of the United
I’m OK with that. In fact, I’ll vote to reelect him in 2008. I
just need certain assurances, like seeing him say The Pledge
About The Author: Tom Attea, humorist and creator of
NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway
and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing
""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."